Monday, December 7, 2020

Telephone Book Club

    Have you ever read a telephone book? There it sat, a permanent fixture on the counter in front of the clock radio, when I was little, wispy pages wrinkled and edge-torn by the time next year’s version was released. White pages at one end, yellow at the other, and a skinny blue section filled with public service information such as call before you dig, emergency phone numbers and standard first aid. All the phone numbers with the prefix (579) fit on only a few columns. Our community was so tiny we knew every family within. But today I’m writing about a different telephone book.

    The escalation of this Covid business means spending time in remote areas is for the fool hearty, risk takers, or those with no other option. The Covid virus has been taking its toll in our rural communities in more ways than we care to think about, making it harder to connect with loved ones living in special areas. A couple of months back, Mom, a senior over 80 years old, ended up in hospital for three weeks. She needed significant care on return to her condo, lest she be forced to transition to an assisted living situation. My siblings and I stayed night and day for 6 weeks until her confidence returned to be on her own again. We too needed to return to our daily routines. I was looking for a way to spend time together, but apart, especially the first few nights alone. I remembered an idea I had from the past but had never taken up and now seemed like a good time to take it for a drive—the telephone book club, for two. 

    I learned of this idea a few years back while living in Lethbridge with an elderly room mate, Dorine, who is vision impaired. I walked to work every day at the public library. Every night after dinner, Dorine would slip into the sitting room for a phone call from Atlanta, Georgia, from her son. They read a book together over the phone lines and I thought, what a good idea, and tucked it away. Now I’m doing the same thing. Every day Mom and I call in the morning and ask, do we want to read that night? If so, we set a time. In the evening, then I read to her for 15-30 minutes from a work of fiction. What happens during that time?  I feel close even though we are miles apart, Mom has my undivided attention for a full 30 minutes. I learn things about her that I never knew when we talk about the story and she helps me with vocabulary. It’s a moment of tenderness between mother and daughter who much of the time have diverse tastes and interests. It builds trust every day when we show up for the story. It can be hard to talk about such strong feelings as love and worry, but we know it when we feel close. Mom looks forward to hearing what happens. We get to know each other through story, a welcome activity, so needed at a time when other areas of life seem less hopeful. 

    Our telephone book is “The Pull of the Stars,” by Canadian author, Emma Donoghue. Set in a maternity ward in a hospital in 1918 during the flu epidemic and WWI, it is full of death, delirium, and highly relevant today. Language style and specifics from history give the opportunity to test each other on bits of trivia we can look up during the day on the Internet. I have the opportunity to put myself in the shoes of pregnant women from historical Ireland, who may have been my grandparents or great grandparents, and to vicariously share of that experience with women ancestors I will never know personally. I hope this story encourages you to try it, if you have a loved one from whom you are isolated. Ask them to read a telephone book with you! Set a date and time, find a good story, and get reading. 


Pull of the Stars


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